The Mermaid – Part 1I have been into rubber for many years and have literally dozens of rubber suits of all manner of designs and over 200 coats and capes, I am also very much into inflatable’s and as I have my own pool for underwater rubbering and as such I spend considerable amounts of time sealed away inside a variety of rubber suits and bags connected to the outside world by an air hose, I find this rubber submersion an incredible turn on and frequently have anything up to 8 or ten orgasm’s a day when in 14 or 15 layers of tight fitting rubber under the water, a really wonderful sexual experience.

One Sunday morning as is my usual practice I was reading the papers and thinking about a week in rubber submersion, as it was incredibly hot and sticky when I came across an article that made me think about what I was doing with my underwater rubbering.

I have all manner of breathing gear, hoods masks special rubber head bags, these are really great, and all sorts of different types of breathing equipment from the simple bottles of compressed air to a very sophisticated compressor system that I bought about 4 years ago and in truth I new very little about the technical side of using such gear and I suppose a dangerous thing when I was sealed away from the outside world under water with only the breathing tube as my life line and should something happen I would without doubt be dead within seconds, so the article I was reading tugged at the commonsense side of my mind.

The story was about a young man who had decided that he would do some scuba diving using equipment he knew nothing about and with absolutely no idea of what he was doing, the result was that the local police pulled a wetsuited body from the sea and discovered that he had run out of air because he had no way of knowing how much was in them as he didn’t have a gauge to find out, at the end of the story was a list of about 5 or 6 diver training schools so I thought let’s have a go and learn properly.

On the Monday morning I started to telephone round the various organisations and got differing stories from each which left me totally confused so I called a number from the article which was the Sub Aqua Society and asked for their advice, they told me that it depended on what sort of diving I was interested in, commercial or purely for sport and enjoyment, now they did not know what I had in mind so I said enjoyment and they kindly gave me a couple of numbers one of which was only about 20 miles from where I lived and so this was the one I telephoned first.

The guy who answered the phone was incredibly helpful and we were on the phone for almost half an hour, I said I would call him back and called the other one that was down on the South Coast which meant about 400 miles and a hotel and I do not like hotels as they are somewhat reserved about us strange rubber people and so after a call that lasted about 5 minutes which was more concerned about getting my money than explaining about the various courses and what they offered and so I called the first guy back his name was Colin and he told me that he was an ex navy and commercial diver and instructor, so I was with someone who really did know what they were talking about.

Colin told me that they had a one-week course starting in four weeks and said that although I lived nearby it was better to be resident as then you could get the feel of the camaraderie that was needed in this field that was fantastically fulfilling and great fun but extremely dangerous, and that he would send me a manual that it would help if I learnt before the course, I said it sounded like going back to school but he retorted that may be it was but this school could save my life and it would take a little while to come to terms with the technical aspects before and it would save time and meant that we could get into the water faster if everyone knew the basics first.

I asked about clothing and he said that they had wetsuits that would fit most people but it would be better if I had my own and as the centre was based on a reservoir the water was incredibly cold even in summer a dry suit would be even better and he gave me a couple of telephone numbers of people he knew that could fit me out and said that he looked forward to seeing me in a few weeks.

I said “Colin I hate to bring up the terrible awful subject but what about money, how much do you want and how?” he laughed “Bloody hell I always forget that bit, I am more interested in seeing people enjoying themselves than the money side of things, just hang on a minute I will get my wife to have a word, her name is Svetlana, she’s half Russian and controls me and the business in fact without her I would probably be broke by now Just a sec’”

I waited for a few minutes and a lady said “Good morning Roland I am Svetlana and I take it Colin has forgotten the money again?” she said this with a laugh in her voice “Yes he has Svetlana so if you give me the details I can either send you a cheque or give you my credit card details which would be best for you?” I said “Credit card would be fine Roland” The way she said Roland with that very sexy accent really turned me on she had the most incredibly sexy voice “but you don’t have to give it to me now you can pay us when you leave” “Do you have many people leave without paying Svetlana or get the card rejected after they have left?” “Yes actually we do, not many but enough that with a small business it hurts” she replied “You will have to get tougher with people you must ask for a deposit and get a signed contract so that they can’t get out of paying later, so here are my card details please take out the whole fee”.

“Thank you Roland I will but how do we make out a contract and get a deposit?” she asked, bloody hell how do these people survive “Look Svetlana let me draw up a couple of contracts for you, send me all your brochures and how much you charge and I will bring them with me when I come for the course OK?” “Roland that is really kind we will give you a discount off the course price” she said “Svetlana never, never, never offer a discount unless it is asked for and never ever if someone offers you something for free, you charge a price and you must stick to it if they don’t want your expertise tell them to go elsewhere OK see you soon” “OK” she said “It looks like we have to become a bit tougher as you say we will look forward to seeing you in a few weeks bye bye”.

I called the companies Colin had given me and the second one I called really impressed me particularly when the young lady said “Of course sir it would be best if you could come in to be measured as it is vitally important with these skintight neoprene suits that they fit properly or they can be awfully uncomfortable and in fact very painful if not made properly”.

Now as a rubberist of many years standing I knew that she was right if you get a skintight rubber suit made and it does not fit just right and you put another one over the top the slightest wrinkle in the inner suit could cause incredible pain, so I made arrangements to go down the following day.

I have in my collection over forty drysuit’s but none of them have ever been made to measure and quite a lot are ex-forces and have been collected over many years, and have never bought a wetsuit as the ones I have looked at seem to be lined with the most awful nylon that have always felt really rough and although I have seen really shiny ones on the net I have yet to come across one, I was in for a surprise.

The following morning a large envelope arrived from Colin and I realised that this course was not going to be a joke and was very serious stuff, and as I looked through it I realised that my old degree math’s was for the first time in many years going to be very useful and so I took it all up to my office and started to swat up for the coming course.

On Thursday I drove down to see the wet and dry suit makers and get measured up and see what they had as far as some unusual suits and see if they could make some stuff to my own designs, I always sound out the ground first as even companies that say they supply rubber clothing simply buy the moulded gear, some of which is really good, for disco use and the odd person who wants to wear something that they perceive to be outrageous, if they saw some of the gear that we rubberist’s wear they would freak out, and if you mention making to measure or special outfits they have no idea what you are talking about.